The media hasn't stopped calling Jackie a crazy liar for almost 2 years. The media DOES NOT STOP talking about Haven Monahan or accusing Jackie of being obsessed enough with Ryan to have lied about being raped.
Why does anyone think that telling someone that you were raped would get the person to want to date you? A lot of stigma and victim-blaming continue to be associated with rape victims. Victims are not the only people who blame themselves or who think that they, the victims, are dirty because they were raped; those are messages that they get from society.
When it was clear that Ryan was not attracted to her after she was raped, why would she have continued to engage other people in the rape story if it weren't true? Why would she have told anyone else that she was raped? Why would she tell Ms. Eramo, and risk an investigation that could prove her a liar and hurt her reputation? Why would she try to be friends with real rape victims? Why wouldn't she try to forget that she had unsuccessfully tried such a ploy and do something else to get Ryan to like her again, instead of leaving Ryan with the friends he deserved and trying to put her life together, which is what she did? Why would she take the risk of telling a journalist a fake story? Jackie had no reason to lie to Ms. Erdely; before the article was published, nobody was accusing Jackie of anything, and she had NOTHING to gain by telling lies that would be published in Rolling Stone and which she had to know would then be investigated. The people at the University of Virginia who know that their lies will not be investigated are rapists; everyone else lives in fear even of telling the truth.
She got a boyfriend who wasn't Ryan. The media never talks about that, and I'm sorry to him if this page prompts the media to invade his privacy.
The title of this page is from an article for which the search result is at the first page of results for a Google search of the term "a man's guide to getting women into bed."
This is the address for the article:
There is not once sentence in it which is not reprehensible, yet it seems to me that it's how men are popularly expected to think about women and sex.
Jackie obviously both was attracted to Ryan and liked him as a person. She wasn't trying to get a one-night stand; she wanted him to be her boyfriend. She also wasn't sleeping around or throwing herself at everyone; she liked him. If she plagiarized other people's romantic language to tell him that she cared about him, that's nothing that generations of men haven't done to get women whom they don't care about to sleep with them. If her idea of how a young man might talk to another young man about a woman was coarse, that says something about our culture.
When a man viciously lies to a woman to get her into bed and then laughs about her to his friends, he "has game"? When a woman is taken advantage of by a man who knows that she really likes him, she's "crazy"?
Copyright, with noted exceptions, L. Kochman, October 18, 2016 @ 11:52 p.m.
