I need a computer to study.
I got to a computer lab at 12:30 p.m. I've been harassed by someone the entire time. It started in one room, as soon as I got there, from the black, male student sitting in front of me. I said "I have a test tonight, and I'm here to study for that, and that's all I'm here to do." He didn't stop loudly stop clearing his throat several times per minute.
The next thing that I said, 20 minutes of harassment later, was "I'm sending your picture to the administration," which I did. That also did not stop him.
I did not want to have to leave the room. I did not want him to win the power struggle that I hadn't wanted and that he had started. When I knew that I couldn't study with him being loudly disruptive, and I also knew that I was going to be angrier if I didn't leave, I left.
I went to the office at the computer lab and said "Someone has been harassing me for 45 minutes, so I'm going to move to the other side of the room." The person whom I spoke to was nice; he said "Next time, talk to us right away and we'll call security to ask him to leave."
I said thank you, and then I went to the other side of the computer lab, where an Asian male student immediately started to harass me, and that has continued for an hour.
That was what I knew would happen. I knew that even if I moved to another lab, someone else would start harassing me.
I finally have said, to the Asian male student who's been harassing me for an hour "That guy (last year) really did harass me, and he got in trouble for it. I have a test tonight, and I need to study for that. I don't know why anyone would think that I'd take Spanish and Chinese in one semester if I were racist."
Perhaps my saying that is why the female student who had sat to my left and started coughing a few minutes before I said it moved; I didn't look at her, but my impression was that she was Asian.
I wouldn't be surprised if the rumor around school is that I'm racist, and that racism is also why I criticized President Obama. Racism is not why I have done anything; misogyny is why I've gotten mercilessly abused and denied every opportunity even for a subsistence level life for 7 years.
The students who have harassed me at school are almost exclusively male. There are white and nonwhite students, which is why some of the students who harass me are white and some aren't.
It's 2:30 p.m. I have had to spend almost all of the last 2 hours dealing with being abused instead of studying.
I'm sure that if I fail the test that I have tonight, many people will be glad to have the "proof" that I'm not really that smart.
I have to study like everyone else, but I can't study like everyone else, because I am abused.
Copyright L. Kochman, February 7, 2017 @ 2:31 p.m.
