I knew that I shouldn't have to cover my limbs to that extent to try to deflect the vicious, relentless slut-shaming that the conglomerate had already inflicted on me for a year. However, I recognized how dangerous the situation was, and I did what I could to be prudent.
Since my attire couldn't be construed as anything other than very conservative, I couldn't figure out why the conglomerate's harassment not only wasn't decreasing, it was increasing. When it was finally clear to me, after I'd moved to Boston, that the homeless shelter in Vermont where I'd lived for several months had illegally videotaped the shower room, criminally violating the privacy of every homeless person who lived there, I realized that what I wore hadn't mattered at all. The conglomerate's hysterical frenzy of hatred and sexual harassment since 2010 had caused me to be victimized by voyeurism as soon as I left the Vermont State Hospital after 4 months as a patient there in 2011.
I have talked and written about all of this before; the conglomerate doesn't care.
Even though it was obvious that my clothes had nothing to do with whether or not I was abused, it wasn't until 2012 that I wore shorts for most of the summer. It wasn't until 2014 that I went to the beach; I wore shorts and a tanktop. It was another year before I bought a bathing suit; it was the first bathing suit I'd had in 5 years.
I went to the beach for a few hours yesterday. It was the only time that I was at the beach all summer. I knew that I'd be attacked for it, which is why I was so upset on Sunday. It was nice to be there, although I had to spend a lot of it trying to have it be nice instead of being afraid and angry about what the conglomerate would say about it. I also am never at the beach without being hypervigilant about everything around me, since the conglomerate has targeted me for sexual abuse and promoted my being victimized, and since the conglomerate's hatred of women is turning the world into a place where women are gang raped in public while bystanders film it on their cellphones and nobody calls the police.
Copyright L. Kochman, August 15, 2017 @ 6:42 a.m.
