Didn't I just reject you last week or the week before? You're also publicly hitting on Emma Watson, which the woman who was your girlfriend fewer than a couple of weeks ago seems to have decided not to notice, probably because, as usually happens in these situations, she knows she can attack me and that it would be much more difficult for her to be horrible about Emma Watson, because Ms. Watson is a much bigger star than she is, and I am the conglomerate's perpetual target.
You're also being horrible about me, not that you're not always being horrible about me anyway.
Are you all almost over acting like this? You really have nothing better to do?
Do you really think that I'm so stupid and so desperate that I want to date you, when you have spent almost every day of the past six years showing me how little you think of me, how much you don't respect me, how much you don't care about the things that are important to me, and how totally loveless and emotionally abusive a relationship with you would be?
Do I seem like I love you? Does it even seem to you that I like you as a person? If so, then my attempts to politely dissuade you seem to be something that you have misinterpreted.
I don't want to be unkind to you, because you have had some serious problems and also because it doesn't seem to me that you're happy. However, I am not interested in you deciding to focus your personal and professional life on abusing me with all your friends, love interests, ex-girlfriends and colleagues.
I gave up on you almost 4 years ago. It's not surprising that you never noticed that I did, since it never mattered to you one way or another when I did try to care about you. I understand, and understood the entire time, that someone who was your age then was not able to appreciate me. What I gave up on was thinking that you ever would. I gave up on thinking that you would eventually be a nicer person, that you would understand how hard I was working at the things that matter to me and that you would at least respect that those things matter to me, even if you didn't care about the things for their own sake. I stopped expecting that you would stop disrespecting me all the time. I stopped thinking that anything that I said would ever be something that you would be able to think about without the distortions placed on it by the people and things that you are part of and that are so toxic. I didn't totally stop caring, but even that is something that you prove every day it's not worth my time to do.
You have no idea how I feel or what I'm like. It's impossible to know where the cycle of contempt for me and the forced familiarity into every part of my life begins and ends from you and everyone like you. Your eyes are probably glazing over already reading this, while you think about which female person you'll be sending out your public call to next.
I don't know how many times I told you, that you were fraying my concern for you a little more with every awful thing you said and did. I don't know how many times I told you that, once you got to the end of my fuse, you would know a side of me that's not indecisive at all.
What do you all think it is that I did to you, instead of the other way around? What is your PROBLEM?
Copyright L. Kochman, April 30, 2016 @ 10:28 p.m.
