I don't know how I'd have a relationship with you that wouldn't preclude my having my own children.
That was something that I was thinking about from 2013 to 2014; what our lives are like that might cause us to have to make decisions that wouldn't make us unhappy but that wouldn't cause us to be the most happy, either. I don't really want to move to California, and the only way that I could think of how you'd be able to have a relationship with me and also be a responsible father was for you to alternate weeks to each side of the country; a week with me and a week with them, or something like that.
I was already 39 when I was thinking about that, and I have not gotten younger since then. I haven't totally decided not to have children, although I think it would be really awful for a kid to have a mother who's been treated the way that I have; even if the rest of the bullying stops, the horrible videos will be seen by more people every day until such time as the human species is extinct. Stepchildren would also be burdened by that.
Also, even if you or another celebrity decided to be permanently respectful of my political and social concerns, I don't want to date a celebrity. I was worried about what that would be like as soon as I realized that there were celebrities who wanted to date me, in 2009 and 2010, and there is almost nothing that has happened since then that hasn't proven that I was right to be worried. If so many terrible things have happened during the years when all I did was consider dating a celebrity, dating a celebrity could only be worse.
I have the right to say something nice about someone, I think. I also don't think there's a reason for you to be offended by my placing you second in my celebrity beauty contest. When I was a lot younger, I often didn't know or think about whether people would laugh or be offended by the literal things that I blurted about what I was thinking; I frequently was surprised by each response. I try to think about what people will feel if I say what I'm thinking, although I don't always care. I figured this was something not to blurt, which is why I haven't written about it before.
Also, I have never said that I was prettier than any of the young women who have either set themselves against me in a contest that I didn't want to be part of or whom the conglomerate shoved into that contest. I don't think that I have ever said that I was prettier than any of the women who have been part of that contest, actually. I don't think that I would have, even if the conglomerate weren't shrieking about how ugly I am or shrieking about how beautiful I am according to which excuse for abusing me the conglomerate wants to use.
Attractiveness is also always a personal preference. I don't know why you and Robert Pattinson are the ones hugging and crying.
I can't really casually date at this time in my life, I don't think. This decade is going to witness the end of my ability to have children, and I don't want to have children with someone whom I'm not going to marry.
Copyright L. Kochman, November 7, 2016 @ 11:22 a.m.
