My situation is bad, but I don't know why anyone is trying to help me. Why am I surviving, and other people aren't? My health has declined over the last year, but I'm not dying, and other people are; why? Maybe I won't be able to resolve the conflicts at Boston Medical Center, but I live in a part of the world where there are not only several hospitals, but several world-famous hospitals. Why do I have all of this? Why am I not someone whose desperate cries for help were fatally never heard or never answered?
Should I be angry? I feel angry.
I am warm. I am fed. I will sleep with my woes and wake up with them, and hate them, but not on a floor or somewhere dirty. I am impoverished by the standards of my country, and rich by the standards of many other countries. I can read and write, and I am attending school for free.
My health care is free; tens of thousands of dollars have been spent for my mental and physical health for the past several years, including all of the hospitalizations when the conglomerate's bullying made me acutely suicidal or almost incapable of doing anything. Thousands of people, millions of people, haven't collectively had that much money spent for their health during their lives.
I was bullied at school too much this semester, outside of class, to use the school's computer labs to do most of my homework. I had to spent the rest of my financial aid for a laptop so that I didn't have to be at school other than for classes. Nobody should be bullied, but what if I hadn't had financial aid? I would have had to leave school.
My rights are violated every day, but I am aware of them, and they are legally acknowledged, even though they are not respected.
Why am I not living in a cage? Why am I not the wife of someone who kidnapped me? Why am I not a slave? Why am I not a jailed dissenter? While I write this, people are being tortured.
I am not destined to be alive. I have always believed in G-d, but the older I am and the more I see of the tirelessness of human greed, the less I feel that I understand why pain is the world's only constant.
Copyright L. Kochman, April 13, 2017 @ 1:10 a.m./No code, all policies operative, all the time. I'll publish my preliminary page and similar pages again.
